The saga continues — I’m locked out of Facebook again, and I’m taking it as a sign to spend more time growing the blog

So I came home from the hospital today with good news I wanted to share. I was there for a EGD scope, a procedure that looks at the upper GI tract. A post-chemotherapy PET scan had shown the original cancer in my bladder was gone — yay chemo! — but there was a suspicious area on a lymph node next to my esophagus. So they ordered the endoscopy. They removed some tissue today for a biopsy, but no malignancy was detected during the procedure.

Which was good news indeed, and I wanted to share it with the Facebook friends who have offered prayers, healing vibes, cat pictures and other forms of encouragement during my treatment for cancer.

But when I tried to log on to FB, this happened. Instead of my timeline, I got this notice:

You will notice that: (a) today is March 23; and (b) the notice says my account was locked on March 17. (It wasn’t.) Typical of FB’s slapdash handling of customer relations. So is the lack of any advance notice. You see, this isn’t my first time around the mulberry bush.

To briefly recap: I was locked out from March 2022 until late August or early September because I wasn’t able to turn on something called “Facebook Protect.” I was locked out without notice, and I was unable to find anyone at FB who could help me get back on. Then, inexplicably, six months later I inadvertently followed a link to an item on my old FB page, and bingo! There I was. Just like nothing had happened. Again, without notice and without any explanation.

Later, for a period of several weeks in December, threatening messages appeared on my timeline that my FB account would be locked unless I turned on “Facebook Protect” by Dec. 20. The deadline came and went, and nothing happened. I suspect it was some kind of hoax, but I don’t know because — typically — I was unable to contact anyone at FB to explain what was (or wasn’t) going on.

During the first two chapters of this saga, I recorded more details in two posts to Ordinary Time:

• Dec. 18, 2022. One final upthrust middle-digit salute from Facebook’s (nonexistent) customer service operation.
• May 27, 2022. Hey Facebook, your awesome new super-duper whiz-bang ‘security measures’ locked me out, and I can’t get you to help.

I believe my headlines tell you everything you need to know.

What’s ironic is that I suspect any fairly knowledgeable 15-year-old would know how to enable this new super-duper two-factor authentication gizmo. But as far as I can tell, it requires me to use apps or hardware that I don’t have, and my efforts off and on for the past year to find anybody at FB who can help me find a workaround have been unavailing.

Instead, when I followed the links promising “we’ll walk you through the program details and help you fully enable Facebook Protect,” I got this message:

Since I don’t have a smart-phone to receive text messages with, and I don’t know what the hell they’re talking about in the other alleged security methods, I’m back at square one.

Suffice it to say I’ve had it up to the keister with FB.

Again.

Sooner or later, I’ll probably get around figuring out what hoops they want me to jump through and get back on. Or they may inexplicably decide ha ha just foolin’ and unlock my account like they did last summer.

But for now, I’m going to take this as a sign that I’ve been spending too much time on social media. I’m going to miss the people with whom I’ve shared cat pictures and theorizing about theology, politics, hymnody and old-time string band music. And I’m going to miss keeping up with former students and old friends from East Tennessee with whom I’ve reconnected on FB. But I have enough else going on in my life right now, and I don’t need the hassle of fighting with FB added onto it.

Besides, I’ve been neglecting Ordinary Time since I got into chemotherapy. If I give FB a well-deserved rest, it’ll free up time for the blog. (I suspect I’ve been using FB as a lazy of sharing political content without giving much thought to it, and I just might be better served if I use that energy posting more political commentary and analysis to the blog instead. And who knows? Maybe movies and popular culture too. Debi and I have been watching Everything Everywhere All at Once on YouTube, and it’s a hoot!)) If any of my old FB friends are reading this, you can subscribe by clicking on the “SUBSCRIBE” button at the bottom of every post.

[Published March 23, 2023]